I'd considered starting a new blog to put down all my thoughts about my newest journey, but I might as well use what I have available.
So, first some background. I have felt overweight my entire life, and certainly have been for a large chunk of it, but hindsight is 20/20 right? I think I didn't actually become overweight until I went to college. I gained the freshman 15 every year. Eating 2 chocolate bars and drinking a litre of coke every day on the way back from class probably had a part in that.
What it really comes down to is a lack of knowledge. My mom was basically trained as a dietician, and while she knew how to cook for hospitals, the health aspects of food were never shared or taught while I was growing up. No one ever talked about calories, or even as sugar being bad, or encouraged physical exercise.
So, after college, then kids, and a ton of yo-yoing between 200 and 280lbs in various degrees, I finally made a change. My husband started it actually, when he had a panic attack and thought he was having a heart attack. It was so hard to lose weight alone, so when he decided he had to to this for himself I joined him.
He has been amazing, losing almost 70 lbs, and so far I've gone from my highest of 286 to 232 as of this week. It's been hard. I'm in the best shape of my life right now, and I've been on this journey long enough that it really is a lifestyle. If I'm not losing weight, then at least I'm maintaining. My attitude about food, calories and physical exercise has completely changed, but it can still be a struggle.
I love food, especially carbs, and have to treat it like an addiction. I really don't like most forms of exercise, but have discovered I love yoga and boot camp style exercise groups. I run (slowly), and have done 5k fun runs. I try to get at least 4 days of exercise a week - usually running, weights and yoga. In a really good week I get 6 days.
I've been doing this for nearly 2 years. I got burned out after Xmas this year and have been maintaining. Exercise has stayed on point but my eating relaxed. My husband decided he wanted to lose 10lbs before we go on vacation, so this week I've made sure to log everything, sticking under 1200 calories a day and I lost 2.2 lbs.
So, background aside, it's time to get back on the horse. I'm going to be sharing all my daily thoughts here, because I think that what I need right now is mental. I know what my body needs, now my mind needs a tune up to go along with it. If you're reading, thanks for you're support. :)
About Me
November is.... a difficult month. That's putting it nicely. I have an assignment or essay (sometimes two) due every week of this month, for a total of 3 papers, two assignments, three labs (almost forgot about those!) and one midterm. This week's schedule includes a midterm exam in Education Psychology, tomorrow, and Thursday I have a paper due for World History.
On top of the school insanity I decided to add NaNoWriMo, which I've blogged about already. That started yesterday, and I went to the Edmowrimo's (that's my affiliate region), "Writers on the Rails" a write-in spent on the LRT system, sponsored by Edmonton Public Transit. While there I managed to write 5200 words, to add to the 1000 I had already written earlier in the day. So, as of this moment I have just under 6200 words....enough so that I don't have to write again until Wednesday, when I'm supposed to be doing research for a paper on Dr. Seuss for my History of Childhood class, which is due next week.
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For what it's worth, I think the story is working out really well, so far.
The other stress of the month is the H1N1 flu clinic. The clinic in Lamont was supposed to start today, and my entire family was going to go. I'm especially worried about the kids, but myself as well considering the sheer number of people I'm shoulder to shoulder with every day. But it's been canceled because of the shortage and they won't know when it's reopening until the end of the week. I really hope none of us gets sick.
The little bit of relief I have added to my month is a purchase I made just two weeks ago from Heathen's Hearth. You see, the stress and rigors of University have made my complexion decide it also wants to act like a teenage, and it has gone insane on me. In desparation I went to Heathen's Hearth, after I saw a cleansing facial mask link on my facebook page (I'm friends with the shop owner). So, I ordered some facial soap, them mask and some peppermint lip balm, cuz I'm addicted to lip balm - always finding the balm de jour, floating around in various pockets.
Anyway, my order arrived today and the mask was amazing, and so refreshing. I think it'll do wonderful thinks to my skin, and the balm is perfect. Nice and tingly for my lips, which means subtle natural color and plumpness, but not sweet to taste so I won't be licking it off like I do all the others I have.
And that's my month in a nutshell... Halloween was fun for the kids, the Cameron got tired and whiney after about 40 minutes of running around. He makes an adorable vampire, though. Even Quintin was too tired after an hour to go out to get his candy from Wendy's house. Speaking of candy, I bought too much. I planned for 200 kids and only got 107. That plus the kids' stash means we're covered for a while.
Anyway, time to go make some dinner, I have class at 6 tonight. If I don't update during the month, at least now you know I have a valid reason.
On top of the school insanity I decided to add NaNoWriMo, which I've blogged about already. That started yesterday, and I went to the Edmowrimo's (that's my affiliate region), "Writers on the Rails" a write-in spent on the LRT system, sponsored by Edmonton Public Transit. While there I managed to write 5200 words, to add to the 1000 I had already written earlier in the day. So, as of this moment I have just under 6200 words....enough so that I don't have to write again until Wednesday, when I'm supposed to be doing research for a paper on Dr. Seuss for my History of Childhood class, which is due next week.
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For what it's worth, I think the story is working out really well, so far.
The other stress of the month is the H1N1 flu clinic. The clinic in Lamont was supposed to start today, and my entire family was going to go. I'm especially worried about the kids, but myself as well considering the sheer number of people I'm shoulder to shoulder with every day. But it's been canceled because of the shortage and they won't know when it's reopening until the end of the week. I really hope none of us gets sick.
The little bit of relief I have added to my month is a purchase I made just two weeks ago from Heathen's Hearth. You see, the stress and rigors of University have made my complexion decide it also wants to act like a teenage, and it has gone insane on me. In desparation I went to Heathen's Hearth, after I saw a cleansing facial mask link on my facebook page (I'm friends with the shop owner). So, I ordered some facial soap, them mask and some peppermint lip balm, cuz I'm addicted to lip balm - always finding the balm de jour, floating around in various pockets.
Anyway, my order arrived today and the mask was amazing, and so refreshing. I think it'll do wonderful thinks to my skin, and the balm is perfect. Nice and tingly for my lips, which means subtle natural color and plumpness, but not sweet to taste so I won't be licking it off like I do all the others I have.
And that's my month in a nutshell... Halloween was fun for the kids, the Cameron got tired and whiney after about 40 minutes of running around. He makes an adorable vampire, though. Even Quintin was too tired after an hour to go out to get his candy from Wendy's house. Speaking of candy, I bought too much. I planned for 200 kids and only got 107. That plus the kids' stash means we're covered for a while.
Anyway, time to go make some dinner, I have class at 6 tonight. If I don't update during the month, at least now you know I have a valid reason.
NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is two weeks away!
For those of you who don't know, nanowrimo is an international contest that has been running for 11 years now, to write a 50,000 word (or more!) novel during the month of November. This is my third year competing, and hopefully my third win.
While I haven't completed a novel yet, my first year I wrote 50,000 words, plus some change in a story about the Witch Hunts in Scotland and my second year I wrote close to 65,000 words on a post apocalyptic fantasy. This year I plan on writing a romantic comedy about Zombies called "For the Love of Brian".
Alright, that's the background.
Normally, when I tell someone that I am/have participated in this they're amazed and supportive and enthusiastic. Well, last week I met my first 'nano skeptic'. I told her that this is what I'd be doing, and she looked at me like I'd completely lost my mind, and said, "Why?" Completely flummoxed at this reaction I managed to stutter out something that amounted to, "Why not?" To which she just looked at me like I was stupid. There she was thinking I was stupid to want to write, and I was thinking she was stupid for thinking I was stupid.
I'm still can't figure out why anyone would think it a waste of time. Writing is awesome.
For those of you who don't know, nanowrimo is an international contest that has been running for 11 years now, to write a 50,000 word (or more!) novel during the month of November. This is my third year competing, and hopefully my third win.
While I haven't completed a novel yet, my first year I wrote 50,000 words, plus some change in a story about the Witch Hunts in Scotland and my second year I wrote close to 65,000 words on a post apocalyptic fantasy. This year I plan on writing a romantic comedy about Zombies called "For the Love of Brian".
Alright, that's the background.
Normally, when I tell someone that I am/have participated in this they're amazed and supportive and enthusiastic. Well, last week I met my first 'nano skeptic'. I told her that this is what I'd be doing, and she looked at me like I'd completely lost my mind, and said, "Why?" Completely flummoxed at this reaction I managed to stutter out something that amounted to, "Why not?" To which she just looked at me like I was stupid. There she was thinking I was stupid to want to write, and I was thinking she was stupid for thinking I was stupid.
I'm still can't figure out why anyone would think it a waste of time. Writing is awesome.
Alrighty... so today was my third day at Balwin School in the 'Step Language Arts' program. Up to this point I really haven't done much at all and am beginning to reevaluate my role in the classroom as 'teacher assistant' more than anything else.
Last week all I did was sit while the kids read silently for 15 minutes, and then sit while the kids watched a movie for 30 minutes and then answer maybe one or two questions while the teacher was busy with other kids.
Today I wandered the classroom while they did computer buddies with a grade one class. I helped a couple of kids who typed a link in wrong. Then I sat and watched them play a game for 15 minutes.
I'm glad that I can be there to help, but I'm beginning to wish that there was more that I could help out with... that is what I signed up for, after all. Twice now I have thought that I'm wasting money on the babysitter by being there, and I don't like that I'm feeling that way.
Ms. Gervais did say that there was a kid who had been missing all week that she wanted me to work with today, but he wasn't there today, either. So, hopefully there's hope of some work down the line.
Last week all I did was sit while the kids read silently for 15 minutes, and then sit while the kids watched a movie for 30 minutes and then answer maybe one or two questions while the teacher was busy with other kids.
Today I wandered the classroom while they did computer buddies with a grade one class. I helped a couple of kids who typed a link in wrong. Then I sat and watched them play a game for 15 minutes.
I'm glad that I can be there to help, but I'm beginning to wish that there was more that I could help out with... that is what I signed up for, after all. Twice now I have thought that I'm wasting money on the babysitter by being there, and I don't like that I'm feeling that way.
Ms. Gervais did say that there was a kid who had been missing all week that she wanted me to work with today, but he wasn't there today, either. So, hopefully there's hope of some work down the line.
Something is bugging me.
As I was picking up my kids from the babysitters, she went to the basement to get them and she started yelling at a kid.... she told him that he was "not a nice boy" and if it keeps up she doesn't want him in her house, and that she was going to have to talk to his mom about it.
Then her and my kids came up stairs and everyone was taking and happy and we left.
When we got home, I asked Quintin who was it who got in trouble at Wendy's.... he said it was him. I asked him what the heck he could have done to prompt such a reaction from her. To me, saying "you're not a nice boy" and "I don't want you in my house" means that something very serious has happened...being violent or blatantly disrespectful, for example. It took a while to get any sort of a story out of him, cuz he was crying, but he insists that he just said "Yay" really loud and was running in circles, when he found out I was there. I asked him what else he has done to get in trouble, because this is obviously a continuing problem and he says he just doesn't remember his manners.
Now, either he isn't telling me the whole story, and I am inclined to believe him, honestly, because he IS a nice boy with the exception of not sharing with his brother from time to time.... Or, we have a problem with Wendy either or reacting or being extremely strict in her expectations of a 6 year old kid.
Telling someone he's bad should revolve around a bad offense, don't you think? Telling someone you don't want them in your house means that they've seriously offended you in some way. What the heck could my kid have done to warrant that? Does bad manners warrant it?
And what the hell am I supposed to do if she says she doesn't want to babysit him anymore?
I'm just heartsick at the idea that someone thinks my kid is a "bad boy", cuz he's not. I don't want to think that I'm being blind as a mom, but is it possible I am? Have I missed something serious?
Now I'm mad at him and I don't even know what/if he's done anything...I'm being super critical of his behavior thinking that it must be my fault...maybe I've been too lenient. Obviously, I need to talk to Wendy, but I won't be able to until Tuesday now, I don't want to bother her after hours. Sigh....
I hate feeling like this, it makes me sad and angry at the same time.
As I was picking up my kids from the babysitters, she went to the basement to get them and she started yelling at a kid.... she told him that he was "not a nice boy" and if it keeps up she doesn't want him in her house, and that she was going to have to talk to his mom about it.
Then her and my kids came up stairs and everyone was taking and happy and we left.
When we got home, I asked Quintin who was it who got in trouble at Wendy's.... he said it was him. I asked him what the heck he could have done to prompt such a reaction from her. To me, saying "you're not a nice boy" and "I don't want you in my house" means that something very serious has happened...being violent or blatantly disrespectful, for example. It took a while to get any sort of a story out of him, cuz he was crying, but he insists that he just said "Yay" really loud and was running in circles, when he found out I was there. I asked him what else he has done to get in trouble, because this is obviously a continuing problem and he says he just doesn't remember his manners.
Now, either he isn't telling me the whole story, and I am inclined to believe him, honestly, because he IS a nice boy with the exception of not sharing with his brother from time to time.... Or, we have a problem with Wendy either or reacting or being extremely strict in her expectations of a 6 year old kid.
Telling someone he's bad should revolve around a bad offense, don't you think? Telling someone you don't want them in your house means that they've seriously offended you in some way. What the heck could my kid have done to warrant that? Does bad manners warrant it?
And what the hell am I supposed to do if she says she doesn't want to babysit him anymore?
I'm just heartsick at the idea that someone thinks my kid is a "bad boy", cuz he's not. I don't want to think that I'm being blind as a mom, but is it possible I am? Have I missed something serious?
Now I'm mad at him and I don't even know what/if he's done anything...I'm being super critical of his behavior thinking that it must be my fault...maybe I've been too lenient. Obviously, I need to talk to Wendy, but I won't be able to until Tuesday now, I don't want to bother her after hours. Sigh....
I hate feeling like this, it makes me sad and angry at the same time.
Today I started volunteering for the Edmonton Public School's 'Study Buddy' program. Study Buddy matches undergraduate students with elementary and junior high students in Edmonton and St. Albert to help tutor them, one hour a week, in a variety of subjects.
Apparently the program looks really good on a teacher's resume so that was one motivation for volunteering, however, I was also drawn to the opportunity of working with the kids. Another opportunity came up a while ago, to work with inner city kids and I was interested in it, too...only it had an age restriction of 18-30, for some reason.
Anyway, so I've been paired with Ms. Gervais, who teaches a junior high special needs Language Arts class. There are about 17 students from grades 7-9, though there are only a couple of grade 9 kids. They are 'cognitively delayed', and learning at about a grade 4-5 level. Ms. Gervais doesn't have a teacher assistant in her room so basically that's the job I'll be taking on. She told me that Friday afternoons can get a little crazy as the kids anticipate the weekend.
Today was just an introduction to the class as they had a buddy computer class, where the kids were matched with a grade one class and were to teach them how to use a computer. I helped out by wandering around and making sure everyone was on task, and after about an hour of that they went back to the classroom to work on posters and my time there was spent praising efforts, as no one needed help. Some of the kids' art was really well done.
Despite the apparent lack of work available for me, it was very satisfying to be there. The kids are nice, even the one who I had to keep getting back on track, and I look forward to when I actually get to work with them, rather than just babysit them.
The school itself is in the midst of some major renovations, so it looked pretty rough, with ceilings torn out and what not. There are 600 students in the school, and it seemed like a lot more than that, for some reason... perhaps because I'm so used to the little elementary school here in Lamont.
Ms. Gervais seems like a sweet, friendly teacher but she has bite when she needs it and the kids obviously respect her and her authority. That is something that I will need to earn, as they listened to her and were quick to dismiss me. She's young, younger than me probably by 5 years so she can't have been teaching for an incredibly long time.
It's funny, I have this image in my mind of teachers being old and everywhere I turned today I found teachers that were a lot younger than I expected. I wonder if it's my own teenage memories telling me that teachers are old (in comparison) or if the teaching base is really that young, now.
It wouldn't surprize me to be the latter, considering the huge graduation classes from the Education Faculty, year after year.
The other thing that struck me was the computer class. I fully expected to walk to a computer lab, but apparently that is a thing of the past. Instead, the kids went to an open atrium (cuz the grade one class didn't have wireless yet) and all were given laptops to use. Huh.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I keep thinking of blog entries I could make while I'm driving. Maybe of these days I'll get those thoughts down, too.
Apparently the program looks really good on a teacher's resume so that was one motivation for volunteering, however, I was also drawn to the opportunity of working with the kids. Another opportunity came up a while ago, to work with inner city kids and I was interested in it, too...only it had an age restriction of 18-30, for some reason.
Anyway, so I've been paired with Ms. Gervais, who teaches a junior high special needs Language Arts class. There are about 17 students from grades 7-9, though there are only a couple of grade 9 kids. They are 'cognitively delayed', and learning at about a grade 4-5 level. Ms. Gervais doesn't have a teacher assistant in her room so basically that's the job I'll be taking on. She told me that Friday afternoons can get a little crazy as the kids anticipate the weekend.
Today was just an introduction to the class as they had a buddy computer class, where the kids were matched with a grade one class and were to teach them how to use a computer. I helped out by wandering around and making sure everyone was on task, and after about an hour of that they went back to the classroom to work on posters and my time there was spent praising efforts, as no one needed help. Some of the kids' art was really well done.
Despite the apparent lack of work available for me, it was very satisfying to be there. The kids are nice, even the one who I had to keep getting back on track, and I look forward to when I actually get to work with them, rather than just babysit them.
The school itself is in the midst of some major renovations, so it looked pretty rough, with ceilings torn out and what not. There are 600 students in the school, and it seemed like a lot more than that, for some reason... perhaps because I'm so used to the little elementary school here in Lamont.
Ms. Gervais seems like a sweet, friendly teacher but she has bite when she needs it and the kids obviously respect her and her authority. That is something that I will need to earn, as they listened to her and were quick to dismiss me. She's young, younger than me probably by 5 years so she can't have been teaching for an incredibly long time.
It's funny, I have this image in my mind of teachers being old and everywhere I turned today I found teachers that were a lot younger than I expected. I wonder if it's my own teenage memories telling me that teachers are old (in comparison) or if the teaching base is really that young, now.
It wouldn't surprize me to be the latter, considering the huge graduation classes from the Education Faculty, year after year.
The other thing that struck me was the computer class. I fully expected to walk to a computer lab, but apparently that is a thing of the past. Instead, the kids went to an open atrium (cuz the grade one class didn't have wireless yet) and all were given laptops to use. Huh.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I keep thinking of blog entries I could make while I'm driving. Maybe of these days I'll get those thoughts down, too.
Well, the second week of school is done, and today I thought for a moment that Cameron might actually make it to the babysitter's without crying. He did pretty good, actually; He didn't start crying until I put him down at Wendy's house. Usually it starts the second I pull up to her curb, if not sooner. Today was also the first day I paid for Wendy's services... $218 for 8 days, (two weeks, but both weeks were missing Monday). That's marginally cheaper than I expected it to be, add $40 for the two missed Mondays and it'll be exactly what I budgeted, so I'm happy with it.
Tomorrow we'll all buckle down and clean the house and get the laundry and shopping done - I'm hoping to turn this into routine, so when Saturday comes everyone knows what to expect. On Sunday we'll be taking the boys to do a walk for the Terry Fox Run. Last year we (James and I) ran the 5k, but this year seeing as how we have the kids with us and both James and I are pretty unconditioned for the run, we'll be walking. This year I'll be walking in memory of my Grandma, Joyce McLachlan, who passed away from cancer in July.
After the walk we'll pack everyone up and head to the beach for the afternoon. The weather is supposed to be really nice so we'll take the boat out and the bigger boys'll try to catch some fish while Cameron and I make sandcastles on the beach. If we're lucky, maybe I'll actually remember to bring my camera!
School is going wonderfully, for both myself and The Boy. I just got my first essay assignment, 12-15 pages due the end of November...I have 30 topics to choose from, but I think I'll be writing on how the French viewed the Natives in early Canada. I know that James finds the topic incredibly stimulating... /sarcasm. I'm going to get an early start on it, though, or at least try, so I have less to keep me away from Nanowrimo, in November.
The Boy brought home his first ever spelling quiz today; he got a perfect score. I'm proud of him. :)
Tomorrow we'll all buckle down and clean the house and get the laundry and shopping done - I'm hoping to turn this into routine, so when Saturday comes everyone knows what to expect. On Sunday we'll be taking the boys to do a walk for the Terry Fox Run. Last year we (James and I) ran the 5k, but this year seeing as how we have the kids with us and both James and I are pretty unconditioned for the run, we'll be walking. This year I'll be walking in memory of my Grandma, Joyce McLachlan, who passed away from cancer in July.
After the walk we'll pack everyone up and head to the beach for the afternoon. The weather is supposed to be really nice so we'll take the boat out and the bigger boys'll try to catch some fish while Cameron and I make sandcastles on the beach. If we're lucky, maybe I'll actually remember to bring my camera!
School is going wonderfully, for both myself and The Boy. I just got my first essay assignment, 12-15 pages due the end of November...I have 30 topics to choose from, but I think I'll be writing on how the French viewed the Natives in early Canada. I know that James finds the topic incredibly stimulating... /sarcasm. I'm going to get an early start on it, though, or at least try, so I have less to keep me away from Nanowrimo, in November.
The Boy brought home his first ever spelling quiz today; he got a perfect score. I'm proud of him. :)
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